I am proud to say that I was a cheerleader in high school, albeit a very unlikely one. I wasn't very athletic. In fact, I was typically the last person chosen for any game, given my lack of speed and hand/eye coordination. I certainly wasn't the prettiest. But what I lacked in physical features and capabilities, I more than made up for with…attitude. I loved rooting for the home team and was known to do so with gusto. Before I was ever an "official" cheerleader, I would cheer from the sidelines like my life, and the team, depended on it.

This cheering predilection continued for many years until one of my close friends told me to stop it. That's right; she turned to me in the middle of a golf game, and said that it really didn't help at all. In fact, it was driving her crazy. I was shocked and felt terrible. We kept on playing, though I admit that I squeaked out a few more "great shots" before I finally controlled the urge.

It turns out, she was right, according to a Harvard Business Review article (July/August 2013), "If You Want to Motivate Someone, Shut Up Already." The research conducted by Brandon Irwin of Kansas State University revealed that "words of encouragement do not inspire people to perform better during a workout." Irwin didn't expect this (and I certainly wouldn't have expected it either). The surprising result? Those with silent partners performed a specific physical task 33% longer. And, those with encouraging partners did them just 22% longer.

Now, let me assure you that the article is not saying that encouragement is bad. It's how we express that feedback that makes all the difference. At a recent Contact Center Conference, keynote speaker Michael Hoffman made the declarative statement that "at-a-boys" like "good job" or "nice work" are not feedback. Instead, "feedback should always be about hope." When feedback reflects what was said or done, and the impact of those words/actions, it builds awareness, confidence and courage.

So, don't stop encouraging your associates, friends and relatives. Instead, set an example with your feedback and be there for them. You'll do great! Oops, I mean, your relationships will grow stronger, you'll feel more confident, and you'll make an even more meaningful difference in this world.