According to research by Arizona State University and Customer Care Measurement & Consulting, 70% of customers who have problems with products or services are already in rage by the time they talk to a customer service representative:  24% yell, 15% want revenge, 8% threaten to sue and 5% start cursing. And this rage has likely risen since the study was completed, according to Professor Mary Jo Bitner, a contributor to this research. She finds people are even "more on edge, critical and less tolerant" due to unrelenting financial strains. Not great news for anyone serving customers.

And, let's face it, we are heading into the holidays, one of the most stressful times of the year. Instead of getting upset, or dare I say, even angry, at this situation, let's see it as an opportunity...to take stock, and ready ourselves to stay cool, so our own stress doesn't spill all over the customer or into our personal lives.

Here are a few things you can do to get ready for the stress ahead:

Change Your Perspective

Instead of looking at each angry customer as a 'problem to fix,' think of him/her as 'a relationship to build.' A September 2010 Wall Street Journal article highlighted a help desk team leader, Zane Bond, who did just that. He never takes it personally when callers vent, but listens intently to "start building a relationship." He also found that the more stressed or frustrated the callers are at the outset, the happier they are when he uses this approach and finds a solution. A great endorsement for this mindset shift.

Relax and Visualize Success

In just a moment, you can remove yourself from stress and place yourself in a state of calm with simple relaxation techniques. Here's one:  close your eyes and take three to five deep breaths. Hold your breath momentarily and then exhale slowly through your mouth after each one. You can also count down slowly from 10  to 1 as you breathe deeply, and consciously tell yourself to relax.

Or, use your imagination to go to a 'better place.' Picture your most calm self in a peaceful setting or a favorite image or photo that will bring you joy. You'll be refreshed, energized and ready for your next call.

Talk Yourself Up

What do you say to yourself after a tough call? Do you ever become critical of yourself or less confident in your ability to handle the next call? Or do you start dreading the next customer, the next hour, and your next day at work? Beating yourself up or agonizing about the daily grind creates more internal stress. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself and focus on your successes to breed more success.

Share and Compare Ideas

Chances are, your associates have already discovered personal best practices and are a rich resource of ideas. So, I encourage you to take time now... before you are in the heat of the holiday season... and connect with others in your organization.

Schedule a time to share and learn how your associates keep their cool to cope with their most thorny customers. You'll be glad you did…and your customers, family and friends will be glad you did too.